#10 - 2018 in Movies
After twelve long months of Fortnite dances, Tide Pod challenges, and government shutdowns, 2018 has finally come to a close. I had a pretty good year for myself: a new job, a month long road trip, etc. I went to the movies a LOT - I think more than in any other year of my life. You might say it's a waste of time, but I say... yes.
So now that we're a few days into the new year, let's all take some time to reflect on the mindless entertainment I enjoyed in 2018. I've ranked these movies in order of how much I liked them, with the best being at the very end. I'll leave out anything that could be a spoiler. But a few of these are based on real events, so you could just Wikipedia them or something. Oh, also - I may have gotten a few of the titles slightly incorrect.
Mediocre Beasts: The Crimes of Johnny Depp
What the hell happened Harry Potter? Fantastic Beasts 2 is an absolute mess; characters' motivations don't make sense, events seem to happen in a vacuum, and it never becomes clear why the beasts are there at all. This movie might have the least exciting climax I've ever seen, too: all the characters get in a dark room and just explain the plot to each other. Lastly, there's a twist at the end that is just nonsense. It is INSANE that J. K. Rowling wrote this.
Solo: A Star War
Everyone loves Han Solo. But did you ever wonder how he got his blaster? Or his jacket? Or his name? Or his Millennium Falcon? Or his Chewbacca? Or his Lando? Or his name? Or his Kessel Run? Or a computer? Or his name?
Sorry. Basically, Solo answers all the questions no one asked. If you're not an obsessed nerd like myself, I guess this could be kind of a fun ride, albeit totally forgettable. Again, there's a twist near the end that is, again, nonsense. The cast is fine. Whatever.
Ant-Man and The Wasp
This is one of the worse Marvel movies, which is a shame; I really like Ant-Man as a character, as silly as that sounds. It isn't all bad: there are a lot of good jokes in here, and I definitely had a good time watching it. But and the end of the day, it's really just two hours of people chasing each other around San Fran, and then things just... end. There's no real resolution. The cast is pretty good all around (especially Paul Rudd and Michael Peña), EXCEPT for Michael Douglas, who's absolutely terrible in this. It's so weird. He's usually good, right?
Ralph Breaks the Franchise
I saw the first Ralph for the first time just a few weeks before this one, and really loved it. Ralph 2... not so much. It's fun, but it never really decides where it's going until the last twenty minutes, and what it decides on is kinda dumb. The strength of the first Ralph is in the two leads, and they're still both really great. I'll say this: there's a scene that takes place inside Disney (not worth explaining now) that is amazing. I won't spoil it. But all in all, there's not too much going on here.
Game Night
I hardly ever see broad comedies anymore. Game Night almost slipped under my radar, and I'm glad it didn't. The story is silly, but the cast is great and most of the jokes land fairly well. I found myself thinking, "Huh, I don't think I've seen Rachel McAdams in a comedy before," but then I thought, "Wait, she's the best part of Mean Girls, the best comedy of the 2000s." Either way, she's really funny in this. Like I said, it's fun but there's not much to it. Maybe a good date movie?
Mission Impossible: Mustache
I've never liked the Mission Impossible movies that much, and I've finally figured out why: none of the characters are memorable at all, ever. That said, Mustache is a good time. The cast is solid, and all looking pretty good - the facial hair department really outdid themselves this time. Some folks were saying you need to have seen Mustache Impossible 5 to understand this one, but who cares? It's just running and punching and shooting. But it's some good running and punching and shooting.
Black Panther
I just know someone's gonna get upset with me for this. Look: I liked Black Panther for the most part - the cast is superb, the sets and costumes were incredible (Oscar-worthy, mark my words), and it fits well into the MCU. But there are a lot of dialogue moments that just don't feel natural. That said, most folks seem to disagree with me. Killmonger and Klaw are two of the best Marvel villains to date, and for totally different reasons. I'd say give this one a watch if you haven't already, but that's unrealistic. You've definitely already seen it.
Annihilation
Director Alex Garland also made Ex Machina, one of my favorites from a few years ago. So I had high hopes for Annihilation going into it. I guess I wasn't totally disappointed? It definitely delivers on all the weird, ominous sci-fi stuff promised in trailers, and all of that lands really well. There's one great moment that my roommate described as the scariest thing he's ever seen (he's usually very brave). But the ending is so unsatisfying, most of it doesn't end up amounting to much. Natalie Portman is super badass, and has a great supporting cast to back her up. Not a date movie.
A Star is Here Now
As it turns out, Lady Gaga can really act, and Bradley Cooper can really sing. If that sentence alone makes you want to see this movie, you'll love it. I like a lot of what's going on here: the story is paced excellently, and all the dialogue feels authentic in a way most movies don't. But throughout the film, characters seem to make the most ludicrous decisions you could imagine. There was more than one moment that made me think, "Why would anyone in their right mind EVER think that was the best idea?" But oh well. Sam Elliot's in this too, and he's probably the best actor of all time.
The Mule
Clint Eastwood is so old. He's so, so incredibly old. I can't decide if he looked more like a man carved out of tree from a prehistoric era or a reanimated skeleton wearing a flannel in this movie. The man has got to be at least 1000 years old, give or take. There are moments in this movie that feel slightly out of touch, but it's really amazing that a man who used to ride dinosaurs even knows what texting is. It's weird - I don't remember him looking that old in Dirty Harry. I guess all those centuries finally caught up with him over the past few decades. Anyways, this movie's fine.
Deadpool Again
He's back! And now, he's even harder to explain to your parents. Deadpool 2 is weirder and more comic-booky than the first, and it totally works to the film's benefit. The cast is rounded out a bit more; Rob Delaney and Zazie Beetz are both great additions, and unknown indie-only actor Josh Brolin is great too. And if you're not into near-constant F-bombs and blood splatters, there's a PG-rated version. But where's the fun in that?
Bumblebee
My roomie and I somehow convinced each other to watch every Transformers movie earlier this year. Here's a hot take: they're all really terrible. So compared to that experience, Bumblebee is like the second coming. There's heart, humor, and excitement in this movie I didn't think possible for this franchise. On top of that, the lead is a young woman working as a mechanic who isn't sexualized at any point. I'm not being sarcastic - she actually isn't. A big step for movies about giant robots that turn into cars.
Avengers: Infinite Money
The fact that this movie isn't a complete train wreck is a small miracle - a crossover between ten comic book franchises is actually good? It didn't absolutely blow my pants off, but the whole thing's written pretty well, and none of the characters feel under-represented. Being a huge dumb nerd, I kind of guessed the ending, but it's still very harrowing. Spider-Man and Thor are the big standouts here. Oh, and none of it will make any sense unless you've seen most of the Marvel movies. Good luck!
Isle of Dogs
Ah, the first movie I saw in 2018. I remember it like it was just last year. Isle of Dogs is a solid addition to Wes Anderson's resume, being just as fun and quirky and original as the rest of his work (the good stuff, anyway). The cast has a bunch of my favorites in it; Bryan Cranston is particularly great, as always. I've heard a few people say that the female characters are underdeveloped, which I think is a fair criticism. That could actually be applied to a lot of Anderson's movies, but that's a topic for another day.
The Incredibles 2
I've put a lot of thought into it: the first Incredibles is definitively the best superhero movie ever. Incredibles 2 just isn't the same caliber, but it's still a satisfying sequel. It feels honest in the same way as the first, something that can't be said about a lot of animated follow-ups. I have a lot to say about the villain, but lucky for me, I've already said it. Here's something: my parents went and saw this movie - on their own accord! That never happens! I think they both liked it, too. But you can ask them yourself, thank you very much.
First Man
Who knew space travel could be so difficult? This is the first Damien Chazelle movie I've seen that wasn't about music. That said, there are a lot of themes that carry over from Whiplash and La La Land - the consequences of ambition, etc. Ryan Gosling (aka The Goose) is as good as ever; he's really got "stoic and chiseled" down to a science. A lot of people tell me I look like him, actually. Claire Foy brings in a great performance as well, even if her role pretty much amounts to "wife worries at home while husband makes history". I know this is based on real events, but can we get a sequel about Janet Armstrong going to Mars or something?
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
A collection of violent, oddball short stories, all taking place in the Wild West? This might be the most Coen Brothers thing the Coen Brothers have ever made. Each story is completely unique from the rest, with its own characters, themes, and story beats. My personal favorite was The Gal Who Got Rattled, but they're all bringing something to the table. Not a date movie.
Vice
Did you see The Big Short? It came out a few years ago, the one about the housing market crash? Yeah, this is just that movie. I don't mean to sell it (big) short - it's really great. It's funny, and disturbing, and provocative in all the best ways. You don't even need to be a tree-hugging liberal like myself to get something out of it - Vice plays just like a political thriller, so much so that it may as well be fiction. But it definitely helps if you're a tree-hugging liberal. Like me. Oh, and Christian Bale went through another amazing physical transformation blah blah blah.
Bohemian Rhapsody
I heard a rumor that this movie wasn't going to address Freddie Mercury's sexuality or death, and decided very early on that I wasn't interested. For the first time in my life, I was wrong - and pleasantly surprised. Bohemian Rhapsody is just as charismatic and dynamic as its source material. A lot of that is up to the stellar cast - people won't shut up about Rami Malek (for good reason), but everyone is really fantastic. The movie ends with a complete, 25-minute recreation of Queen at Live Aid, 1985. The absolute stones on these guys.
Bad Times at the El Royale
It's like Tarantino - but it's not Tarantino! A bunch of strangers, stranded in a historic hotel together. Drama, tension, hilarity, and violence ensue. There's not much more I can say without edging into spoiler territory. It's a good cast - Jon Hamm is charming, Jeff Bridges continues to be the greatest actor of all time, and Chris Hemsworth is in rare form. Not for the faint of heart. Not a date movie.
Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse
When Kingpin kills Spider-Man and creates a particle accelerator to access other dimensions, it's up to Miles Morales and five other Spider-people from different realities to join forces and stop him. Following along? Spiderverse somehow takes the most ridiculous comic book plot and somehow manages to turn it into one of the best movies of the year. The animation alone is reason enough to see it. If that's not enough, John Mulaney plays Spider-Ham, a talking cartoon pig with the powers of a spider. If THAT'S not enough, Nicolas Cage is in this - and he's the greatest actor of all time.
Sorry To Bother You
A movie about telemarketers made by a first time writer/director takes the #1 spot this year. Who knew? Sorry To Bother You is funny and invigorating and terrifying, all in ways you've never seen before. It's a bit like Donald Glover's Atlanta - one second you're doubled over laughing, the next you feel awful and you're not sure why. There's a thing that happens - ah, actually, I better let you find out for yourself. Anyways, it's great. Subsequently, I'm pretty sure I'm completely in love with Tessa Thompson. Join the club, right?
Wow, we did it! What a team effort. I did all this research and work, and you halfheartedly skimmed through to glance at titles. Really, I couldn't have done it without you. Go us.
Folks, I would genuinely love to hear from any or all of you. How does my list compare to yours? Is Fantastic Beasts' Jude Law really the greatest actor of all time, like I said? Am I just an idiot? No. My twitter handle is @andrewhowsmon, and leaving a comment here is just as good. As always, thanks for reading!
So now that we're a few days into the new year, let's all take some time to reflect on the mindless entertainment I enjoyed in 2018. I've ranked these movies in order of how much I liked them, with the best being at the very end. I'll leave out anything that could be a spoiler. But a few of these are based on real events, so you could just Wikipedia them or something. Oh, also - I may have gotten a few of the titles slightly incorrect.
Mediocre Beasts: The Crimes of Johnny Depp
What the hell happened Harry Potter? Fantastic Beasts 2 is an absolute mess; characters' motivations don't make sense, events seem to happen in a vacuum, and it never becomes clear why the beasts are there at all. This movie might have the least exciting climax I've ever seen, too: all the characters get in a dark room and just explain the plot to each other. Lastly, there's a twist at the end that is just nonsense. It is INSANE that J. K. Rowling wrote this.
Solo: A Star War
Everyone loves Han Solo. But did you ever wonder how he got his blaster? Or his jacket? Or his name? Or his Millennium Falcon? Or his Chewbacca? Or his Lando? Or his name? Or his Kessel Run? Or a computer? Or his name?
Sorry. Basically, Solo answers all the questions no one asked. If you're not an obsessed nerd like myself, I guess this could be kind of a fun ride, albeit totally forgettable. Again, there's a twist near the end that is, again, nonsense. The cast is fine. Whatever.
Ant-Man and The Wasp
This is one of the worse Marvel movies, which is a shame; I really like Ant-Man as a character, as silly as that sounds. It isn't all bad: there are a lot of good jokes in here, and I definitely had a good time watching it. But and the end of the day, it's really just two hours of people chasing each other around San Fran, and then things just... end. There's no real resolution. The cast is pretty good all around (especially Paul Rudd and Michael Peña), EXCEPT for Michael Douglas, who's absolutely terrible in this. It's so weird. He's usually good, right?
Ralph Breaks the Franchise
I saw the first Ralph for the first time just a few weeks before this one, and really loved it. Ralph 2... not so much. It's fun, but it never really decides where it's going until the last twenty minutes, and what it decides on is kinda dumb. The strength of the first Ralph is in the two leads, and they're still both really great. I'll say this: there's a scene that takes place inside Disney (not worth explaining now) that is amazing. I won't spoil it. But all in all, there's not too much going on here.
Game Night
I hardly ever see broad comedies anymore. Game Night almost slipped under my radar, and I'm glad it didn't. The story is silly, but the cast is great and most of the jokes land fairly well. I found myself thinking, "Huh, I don't think I've seen Rachel McAdams in a comedy before," but then I thought, "Wait, she's the best part of Mean Girls, the best comedy of the 2000s." Either way, she's really funny in this. Like I said, it's fun but there's not much to it. Maybe a good date movie?
Mission Impossible: Mustache
I've never liked the Mission Impossible movies that much, and I've finally figured out why: none of the characters are memorable at all, ever. That said, Mustache is a good time. The cast is solid, and all looking pretty good - the facial hair department really outdid themselves this time. Some folks were saying you need to have seen Mustache Impossible 5 to understand this one, but who cares? It's just running and punching and shooting. But it's some good running and punching and shooting.
Black Panther
I just know someone's gonna get upset with me for this. Look: I liked Black Panther for the most part - the cast is superb, the sets and costumes were incredible (Oscar-worthy, mark my words), and it fits well into the MCU. But there are a lot of dialogue moments that just don't feel natural. That said, most folks seem to disagree with me. Killmonger and Klaw are two of the best Marvel villains to date, and for totally different reasons. I'd say give this one a watch if you haven't already, but that's unrealistic. You've definitely already seen it.
Annihilation
Director Alex Garland also made Ex Machina, one of my favorites from a few years ago. So I had high hopes for Annihilation going into it. I guess I wasn't totally disappointed? It definitely delivers on all the weird, ominous sci-fi stuff promised in trailers, and all of that lands really well. There's one great moment that my roommate described as the scariest thing he's ever seen (he's usually very brave). But the ending is so unsatisfying, most of it doesn't end up amounting to much. Natalie Portman is super badass, and has a great supporting cast to back her up. Not a date movie.
A Star is Here Now
As it turns out, Lady Gaga can really act, and Bradley Cooper can really sing. If that sentence alone makes you want to see this movie, you'll love it. I like a lot of what's going on here: the story is paced excellently, and all the dialogue feels authentic in a way most movies don't. But throughout the film, characters seem to make the most ludicrous decisions you could imagine. There was more than one moment that made me think, "Why would anyone in their right mind EVER think that was the best idea?" But oh well. Sam Elliot's in this too, and he's probably the best actor of all time.
The Mule
Clint Eastwood is so old. He's so, so incredibly old. I can't decide if he looked more like a man carved out of tree from a prehistoric era or a reanimated skeleton wearing a flannel in this movie. The man has got to be at least 1000 years old, give or take. There are moments in this movie that feel slightly out of touch, but it's really amazing that a man who used to ride dinosaurs even knows what texting is. It's weird - I don't remember him looking that old in Dirty Harry. I guess all those centuries finally caught up with him over the past few decades. Anyways, this movie's fine.
Deadpool Again
He's back! And now, he's even harder to explain to your parents. Deadpool 2 is weirder and more comic-booky than the first, and it totally works to the film's benefit. The cast is rounded out a bit more; Rob Delaney and Zazie Beetz are both great additions, and unknown indie-only actor Josh Brolin is great too. And if you're not into near-constant F-bombs and blood splatters, there's a PG-rated version. But where's the fun in that?
Bumblebee
My roomie and I somehow convinced each other to watch every Transformers movie earlier this year. Here's a hot take: they're all really terrible. So compared to that experience, Bumblebee is like the second coming. There's heart, humor, and excitement in this movie I didn't think possible for this franchise. On top of that, the lead is a young woman working as a mechanic who isn't sexualized at any point. I'm not being sarcastic - she actually isn't. A big step for movies about giant robots that turn into cars.
Avengers: Infinite Money
The fact that this movie isn't a complete train wreck is a small miracle - a crossover between ten comic book franchises is actually good? It didn't absolutely blow my pants off, but the whole thing's written pretty well, and none of the characters feel under-represented. Being a huge dumb nerd, I kind of guessed the ending, but it's still very harrowing. Spider-Man and Thor are the big standouts here. Oh, and none of it will make any sense unless you've seen most of the Marvel movies. Good luck!
Isle of Dogs
Ah, the first movie I saw in 2018. I remember it like it was just last year. Isle of Dogs is a solid addition to Wes Anderson's resume, being just as fun and quirky and original as the rest of his work (the good stuff, anyway). The cast has a bunch of my favorites in it; Bryan Cranston is particularly great, as always. I've heard a few people say that the female characters are underdeveloped, which I think is a fair criticism. That could actually be applied to a lot of Anderson's movies, but that's a topic for another day.
The Incredibles 2
I've put a lot of thought into it: the first Incredibles is definitively the best superhero movie ever. Incredibles 2 just isn't the same caliber, but it's still a satisfying sequel. It feels honest in the same way as the first, something that can't be said about a lot of animated follow-ups. I have a lot to say about the villain, but lucky for me, I've already said it. Here's something: my parents went and saw this movie - on their own accord! That never happens! I think they both liked it, too. But you can ask them yourself, thank you very much.
First Man
Who knew space travel could be so difficult? This is the first Damien Chazelle movie I've seen that wasn't about music. That said, there are a lot of themes that carry over from Whiplash and La La Land - the consequences of ambition, etc. Ryan Gosling (aka The Goose) is as good as ever; he's really got "stoic and chiseled" down to a science. A lot of people tell me I look like him, actually. Claire Foy brings in a great performance as well, even if her role pretty much amounts to "wife worries at home while husband makes history". I know this is based on real events, but can we get a sequel about Janet Armstrong going to Mars or something?
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
A collection of violent, oddball short stories, all taking place in the Wild West? This might be the most Coen Brothers thing the Coen Brothers have ever made. Each story is completely unique from the rest, with its own characters, themes, and story beats. My personal favorite was The Gal Who Got Rattled, but they're all bringing something to the table. Not a date movie.
Vice
Did you see The Big Short? It came out a few years ago, the one about the housing market crash? Yeah, this is just that movie. I don't mean to sell it (big) short - it's really great. It's funny, and disturbing, and provocative in all the best ways. You don't even need to be a tree-hugging liberal like myself to get something out of it - Vice plays just like a political thriller, so much so that it may as well be fiction. But it definitely helps if you're a tree-hugging liberal. Like me. Oh, and Christian Bale went through another amazing physical transformation blah blah blah.
Bohemian Rhapsody
I heard a rumor that this movie wasn't going to address Freddie Mercury's sexuality or death, and decided very early on that I wasn't interested. For the first time in my life, I was wrong - and pleasantly surprised. Bohemian Rhapsody is just as charismatic and dynamic as its source material. A lot of that is up to the stellar cast - people won't shut up about Rami Malek (for good reason), but everyone is really fantastic. The movie ends with a complete, 25-minute recreation of Queen at Live Aid, 1985. The absolute stones on these guys.
Bad Times at the El Royale
It's like Tarantino - but it's not Tarantino! A bunch of strangers, stranded in a historic hotel together. Drama, tension, hilarity, and violence ensue. There's not much more I can say without edging into spoiler territory. It's a good cast - Jon Hamm is charming, Jeff Bridges continues to be the greatest actor of all time, and Chris Hemsworth is in rare form. Not for the faint of heart. Not a date movie.
Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse
When Kingpin kills Spider-Man and creates a particle accelerator to access other dimensions, it's up to Miles Morales and five other Spider-people from different realities to join forces and stop him. Following along? Spiderverse somehow takes the most ridiculous comic book plot and somehow manages to turn it into one of the best movies of the year. The animation alone is reason enough to see it. If that's not enough, John Mulaney plays Spider-Ham, a talking cartoon pig with the powers of a spider. If THAT'S not enough, Nicolas Cage is in this - and he's the greatest actor of all time.
Sorry To Bother You
A movie about telemarketers made by a first time writer/director takes the #1 spot this year. Who knew? Sorry To Bother You is funny and invigorating and terrifying, all in ways you've never seen before. It's a bit like Donald Glover's Atlanta - one second you're doubled over laughing, the next you feel awful and you're not sure why. There's a thing that happens - ah, actually, I better let you find out for yourself. Anyways, it's great. Subsequently, I'm pretty sure I'm completely in love with Tessa Thompson. Join the club, right?
Wow, we did it! What a team effort. I did all this research and work, and you halfheartedly skimmed through to glance at titles. Really, I couldn't have done it without you. Go us.
Folks, I would genuinely love to hear from any or all of you. How does my list compare to yours? Is Fantastic Beasts' Jude Law really the greatest actor of all time, like I said? Am I just an idiot? No. My twitter handle is @andrewhowsmon, and leaving a comment here is just as good. As always, thanks for reading!
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